The big news in these parts are that Major League Baseball is coming to Buffalo, New York, sort of.
The Toronto Blue Jays are being kicked out of their home park because the Canadians think that having people coming into and out of the Rogers Center is a virus problem.
Better, I suppose they’re thinking, that Buffalo have a virus problem rather than the largest city in Canada.
Fans will not be allowed inside the Buffalo Ball Park, now called Sahlen Field, named after a hot dog. Buffalonians, you should know, love their hot dogs charcoal grilled, burned almost to a crisp.
Since Toronto has a population of eight million and Buffalo has upwards of 14 people living there, it is much easier to keep Buffalonians out of the ball park than the hoards from north of the border who would no doubt storm the gates any time the Blue Jays take to the field.
Come to think of it, Buffalo Blue Jays has a nice ring to it.
Nevertheless, Toronto tried to play their home games in Pittsburgh or
Baltimore, cities that rejected the Blue Jays because they already had Orioles and Pirates there.
There is more to this story than meets the eye. The last time Buffalo rolled out the red carpet for visitors was during the War of 1812 when the British burned the city down. There was no baseball that year.
To get even, the U.S. burned down the City of York, which was rebuilt as Toronto. You can see right now that playing baseball is a lot more complicated than what you would expect. This leads us to Baltimore.
After the Battle of Baltimore in that very same war, Francis Scott Key wrote the “Star Spangled Banner.” Now, our national anthem certainly puts to shame the Canadian anthem, “O Canada.” Ours is much longer, is far more difficult to sing and has bombs bursting in air and the rockets with red glare. There are no bombs bursting and red glaring in the Canadian anthem, which explains whey they have been jealous of us for most
of history, except the last three years.
So it’s easy to see the invasion of the Toronto baseball team into Buffalo could amount to a surreptitious attempt to take over what they couldn’t grab in 1812.
This time, however, if the Blue Jays of Toronto try some funny stuff regarding burning our ball park to the ground, Buffalonians will be prepared for them. We’ll have our hot dogs at the ready.